31 Weeks

When I was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago, I don’t think anyone thought I would still be here and still be pregnant today. But I am, and although I’d like to be almost anywhere else, the fact that Beckett has been given this opportunity to grow means everything.

I’m not sure if it’s because I haven’t been very active during the last two weeks or because Beckett is growing like a weed, but I feel like my tummy is twice as big and twice as heavy as it was last week. I’ve never been so happy to be carrying extra weight!

Aside from my counting to each week marker, my days are really running together—sleep, labs, ultrasounds, doctors, nurses, naps, gluten-free bread. It’s all a blur, which is making documenting my time in here more difficult.

Also, as if the make the waiting a little more unbearable, it seems that the doctors and whatever is going on in my body are engaged in some kind of biological standoff. We’re all just waiting for something to happen—for me to get deathly ill or for my liver to say, “Just kidding guys. Carry on with your lives.” I’m sure this is my impatience talking, but at this point, either outcome would be fine with me as long as we have an answer at the end.

The doctors agree that there’s about a 50/50 chance of us actually figuring out what’s going on. I know I’m being seen by some of the best, most well-read, experienced OBs and specialists in the area. If they’re unsure they’ll ever know what’s happening here, I’m starting to wonder why I’m here at all.

I’ve been granted a little bit more leeway as far as being able to get up and walk around. The doctors aren’t holding my breakfast anymore. And I’ve been moved back to a normal antepartum room. I think they are testing my body to see if the bed rest has been staving off an immanent illness.

My blood pressure has been higher since I’ve been more active. That, coupled with the fact that they’re still not certain if this is a pregnancy-induced condition, makes them uncomfortable with me going home any time soon. I feel like I was pretty naïve to get my hopes up, but I’ve found it’s easier to be here when I think of this as something that will help keep Beckett safe and healthy.

Also, I have time to watch Wendy Williams now.

Because I’ll be here a while longer, I’ve taken some pictures of some of a few things make me smile.

Enjoy! And continued prayers please!

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St. Francis of Assisi

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Yummy gluten-free meal John made. Grilled chicken, roasted red potatoes, and gluten-free mac and cheese.

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Beautiful green leaves on my walk outside.

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Beard hat I made for B.

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7 thoughts on “31 Weeks

  1. Thanks for the update! So thankful that Beckett has made it to 31 weeks! Each day he is just growing bigger and stronger – what a blessing. And yum!! That meal John made looks fabulous! Continued prayers for a healthy mama and baby!

  2. Boy! Thought John was a good guy before, but then he made gluten-free look like real food! What the what! The hat is so great, haha. So even if Beckett comes out looking like you, he can still look like John too ;).

    Also, today I talked back to Wendy. May God get you out of the hospital before that starts happening to you, too.

    • His profile is kind of down and right of center and his arm is coming up from the left. He has his thumb in his mouth. I think I’ve shown you this pic before. We haven’t been able to get a face picture since this one–23 weeks. He’s MUCH bigger now.

  3. LOL! Your mom makes me laugh! My mom could never figure out the u/s pics either. Ha! With all of the ultrasounds you’ve been getting in the hospital I was wondering if they are doing the 3d/4d scans? Those are so cool how you can see their little features!

    • No! I wish! Most of the ultrasounds are what they call BPPs (Biophysical Profiles). They look for four things–that there’s enough amniotic fluid, that he’s practicing breathing, that he is making big movements, and that he’s toning (small movements like clinching his fist). So, I DO get to see him about every other day, but it’s in a pretty technical environment. Plus, he’s head down and facing my right hip with his arms over his face. He’s not giving up a face picture for anything!

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